I’ve been a little depressed as of late, myself.  You know how guys in jail can get.  I had some guy tell me I should have killed myself after Zina, “She went out gangsta.”

I was thinking, “Yeah, and she left our son and me here.”  as I walked away.  This guy is obviously not the brightest bulb in the box.  Still, it left me angry at Zina again.

Once guy tried to convince me she may still be alive, “You don’t know.  She could be in protective custody.”  I  swear.  I’m surrounded by lawyers and psychologists in here.  Luckily, I”m a little too bright to fall for this shit.

Still… my grieving for Zina is a manic call back.  some days, I’m fine.  Other days it’s a relentless roller coaster.

Just when I had given up on talking to anyone, I had a guy I didn’t recognize call me “Dirty.(my tag name.)”  We started talking and I  asked him if he knew Zina.  He said yes, “She was a beautiful girl.”

When he said that all these images of her, the really good times came flooding back.  That’s when I realized that that’s how I want to remember her.. as beautiful.

I can’t tell you why or how I endure this.  I do believe there’s a reason I’m still alive.  I don’t know why, but I plan on finding out.

I’d enjoy mail from anyone.  My address is:

Michael McQuade / Somerset County Jail / 132 East Madison Road / Madison, Maine 04950.

Tell everyone that I said “hi!”

God bless,

Dirty

Dirty

 

Circle, what’s going on with you?

I’m alright. Two weeks into Ramadan and it’s going great. I’m growing and struggling and it’s wonderful. So last week I got to watch Leo and Lake and my man L.A. Graduate from college with their associates. It was bittersweet.

Bitter because it should have been me up there with them. Sing them walk made my heart hurt. But, it served as a reminder that all of my actions have consequences and I need to keep that in mind. No more act now and deal with it later shit. 99% of the time I’m the biggest loser in that scenario and I’m too old to keep making these mistakes.

It was sweet because I was watching people I care about achieving one of their goals. I have shared a bond with them that you don’t share unless it comes behind blood, years and tears. I was so happy for them; they handled their business. Some of their family members came up. One of my mans hadn’t seen his mom in fifteen years. That kinda energy is amazing. Alright, though, I’ma tell you that in two years I’m going to be graduating and not just with my associates if they allow the to get their bachelors thenhen. Insha Allah, I’m going to get that as well.

As I am,

Prince

prince

Hey, Circle.

How are you?  I got your letter this afternoon.  I was glad I could call you guys for hell, you really are the only friends I have had.

I know what you guys are saying about Dark Star, but I doubt I will ever get back with Lori even though I wish that I could but Hell…

I don’t know what DHS has to say about the kids, but you can bet I will see my kids, for I will fight until I die.  I would let them keep putting me back here just to see my kids.

I guess you could say after I get out I will be okay, even if I don’t come back to Maine, for I will always land on my feet for, Hell, God has not let me down yet.

I would say that even if my mom said I could stay there, Cherokee shouldn’t matter for he is eighteen now so who knows.  But I guess you could say I will do something.

I do get out for a walk a few times a week, lifting.  I just have not had the time for that, but I should be getting more time now I am done with DEFY for next monday is the final test for my class but I also been putting a lot of time in the Church stuff as you always see.

I guess you could say I am going to close for now, but I will write you guys more.  Soon I need to find some more stamps for I used the money my mom put on my account on the phone.

God bless,

Joel Dudley

joel

Robin,

As far as my family goes, I don’t know what I might had done, but I guess they are all mad at me or something. Yeah, they didn’t send me a card for Mother’s day and I haven’t gotten a letter from my mom or my son.

I had a girlfriend in here since November, but she left in May to go to rehab. She wrote to me, but I still miss her. I am making a blanket with her name on it. I get to have a blanket, shower bag, make up bag wash clothe and a pair of slippers. I think we an also have three pairs of homemade socks also. My son is with my mom and he has been.

I guess you could say I have an attitude like a dove. I wish that I could have a dove again. You said there is a pic on facebook of me with purple hair. Can you look up stuff like pics and stuff? If you can my pics of my doves are on there.

Well, talk to you later.

Lawless.

arline-lawless-7

Hey,

Sorry my memory is such shit during that particular period of my life.  I was pretty fucked up.  sorry that it’s taken so long to write back.  Kennebec had me on suicide watch til they shipped me here.  A month and a week.  Just over a week in the turtle suit along.  When they shipped me they left all my paperwork and all.  It took a month just to get some of my shit.

I had almost forgotten your letter.  It fell out of my tome of paperwork the other day.  I was glad because I wanted to thank you for your letter.  Only a few people can realize what a piece of mail can mean to someone.  Especially someone with as much shit as I’m going through..

I can’t talk about my case at all Not only because of the severe nature of the case, but also do to the lack of info on the case.  I  don’t know what the fuck is going on.

I’m surprisingly optimistic for a guy facing life. I’m working out, reading, writing.  I”m clean of drugs.  That’s something I really wanted towards the end.  I tried to get into a detox.  There were no beds open at the time.

I don’t really want to get into the whole mess.  It really hurts thinking of Zina and our son, Loki.  He’s fine which is something, I guess.

I really wanted you to know that I appreciated that letter.  I thank you for your prayers.  You’re in mine as well.  If I ever get outta this place, I’ll give you a ring.

Again, thanks,

Dirty

Dirty

Hey, it’s great to hear from you.  Yes, I have seen the Watchmen recently and I still remember the owl.  Yes, I am getting some sun and what I miss most about the outside is surfing on the internet.  I could go for hours looking up various stuff on their land.  I miss comic books, too, although I do have a book and things catalog and they do have graphic novels from both marvel and DC comics and I may get some of them  As for Judges guild being still around you could always check the internet.  If you are looking for any of the old gaming material or brand new stuff you can always checkout a game store  on the internet.  The old stuff can be pretty cheap[.  It has just about everything except the kitchen sink.  Noble Knight Games.

Let’s see, Danny (Fortune) is doing alright.  As for my birthday, I’ll just be chilling out.  Right now, I’m watching family guy and they are playing a song called “She’s Just a Devil Woman.”  Who sang that song anyways?  Well good night and have fun.

Kenneth McDonald

(also known as Malibu Owl.)

kenny

Circle,How are you?  I guess you could say it has been going okay, for now.  I sit here in my cell at 130am, just can’t get shit off my head.

I did find a couple of things I meant to send you guys a wile back for the website but of course I forgot to send them.

Fuck, I really don’t know what to do for Lori and the kids are and always will be my world.  I just don’t know.

I guess you could say all I do is teach my class and watch t.v. for the rest of my time but I can also say I try to call my mom and Lori everyday for I keep my hopes up but who knows, right?

SO I guess you could say you guys are the only people who I hear from.  I just don’t know what the fuck it seems all of my family and friends have left me behind.  I guess you could say I write them, but don’t hear back.

I guess you could say I should lay down so yes, If I can fall asleep then I should try.  But I will of course write you guys more over this weekend so please whatever you do keep in touch for I could always use a friend.

God bless,

Joel Dudley

joel

A quick note:

So, I’m pretty sure I’ll be back in college in the summer.  I’m excited about it.  I’m saving money for Ramadan so that I can make Zakat, which is charity.  I want to be able to gie the money to a mosque.  It would mean a lot to be ale to do that.  Of course, as I am limited financially, it is not easy, but I will give what I can.

Am I fat?  Please, Circle.  You know I stay cut.  I’ma have to send you guys a picture.  I’ll take one tomorrow and send it in the next letter.  Am I fat?  Hahahaha.  I don’t really work out, just do pull-ups ad push-ups and stuff like that.  I’m not a big fan of weights.

Okay, I gotta go.

As I am,

Prince

prince

Hey, Circle, so how’s it going? What did you guys do memorial weekend? Did you have a good day? I haven’t actually written any poems in a long time.

Have you guys managed to get a Dungeons and Dragons game going yet? As for the weather, I guess it’s going to be warming up.

Well, this June 18th, I shall be tuning fifty years old; I don’t really feel that old. Does tuening fifty mean that I’m a half century old? Did you ever get a hold of a copy of the Golem Plate Spell form the dragonsfoot website, along with a few other spells?

Well, goodnight, and I hope that you guys have a great summer. Don’t get sunburned too much.

Kenneth McDonald

Circle,

How are you ? I guess you could say I have seen a lot better days – I still have not heard from Lori and the kids but of course, who knows.

Sorry I have not written for a little bit, I have had some medical problems in the past few months. I have been having some really bad, light headed dizzy spells. Medical here really don’t know what they are doing for all they keep saying is “drink more water” but of course you know how doctors in prison are for fuck, I just wish I could stop being dizzy for some days I can’t even get out of bed.

I guess you could say I still feel lost, for I don’t really hear from anyone but you guys, or I should say “you” for you’re it.

So have you heard from Dark Star, for yes, it would be great to hear from her. But, if you guys want she can send me more pictures just like you guys can as well.

I guess I will let you go for now, for I need to work on what I’m doing in class tomorrow, so if you need it I can give you my second copy, when it comes to class for yes, I have two weeks left of my defy class I took. You should look up defyventures.org. I know their site sucks but yes that is a program I took here. I will write you guys more later, for yes, I know you enjoy hearing from me (LOL.)

Father Dudley

father.dudley

 

 

 

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 180 other followers

Political Prisoners

Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

In collaboration with the Holistic Recovery Project, the Political Prisoners Blog provides a prisoner's view into what's happening at Maine's correctional facilities.

Only your vigilance on the outside can guarrentee that justice goes on on the inside.

If you'd like to contact one of our inmate bloggers, send us an email.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support.

Like us!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 180 other followers