When I was sentenced, back in March of 2010, I made sure that my lawyer extracted a stipulation from the judge that my fine payments would be postponed until five months following my release.  I still have the court order: no fine payments required.  So why, oh why, does M.C.C. continue to deduct this dreaded 25% from every dime that gets sent into me?  I’ve heard many, many conspiracy theories:

“The warden puts the 25% into a Swiss bank account.”

“The jail puts 25% of all of our money into a CaymanIslandbank account. When you leave, then you’ll get back your money, but while you’re here, our cash is generating tons of interest for them down in the Caymans!  Think about it: the interest alone would keep you in whoopee pies, like, forever.”

“It’s because the world outside has no idea that they do this to us!  If they only knew…”

Well, I finally wrote to inmate accounts (“Don’t do it, dude!  Don’t let the MAN know that you’re onto Him!!”), and instead of one of those standard responses (e.g. “we’re working on it.”  Or, “we’ll look into it.” Or, the standard Rick Robinson answer: “Wow.  Now that’s a good question.”)  they actually sent me back a copy of the law pertaining to restitution.  Like to hear it?  Here it goes:


From 17-A § 1330-A:  3. Restitution; absolute.  The requirements imposed on a prisoner by this section to pay restitution and fines during incarceration apply regardless of whether the court order to pay restitution or fines constitutes a sentence or is imposed as a condition of probation, regardless of whether payment has been stayed in the court order and regardless of whether the prisoner’s incarceration resulted from a revocation of probation.


What the above means is that it doesn’t matter what a court has promised me as far as fines go.  The devil will get its pound of flesh.  So there we have it.  A conspiracy in which the staff at M.C.C. ferrets our money away in a secret bank account in order to invest the interest in nefarious whoopee pie ventures?  Myth busted.