“Okay!”  I said to Rob, one of the Corrections Supervisors down at the chow hall, as they prepared for lunch.  “How would you feel about doing a little interview for the upcoming issue of the Doing Times?”

“What kind of interview?  Are you a reporter?  Are you recording me?”

“An easy ten questions.”  I responded.  “And yes, I am a reporter.”  I showed him my press card and other credentials.

“Well,” he said, after giving it some thought.  “As long as you don’t ask me any questions about mechanically separated chicken.”

“Absolutely.”

I wanna answer ten questions!” Matt “Irish” Moscillo, veteran member of the front-line kitchen crew popped up beside us, obviously having overheard our off-the-record discussion.

“You can both answer questions.”  I said, pulling pad and pen from the inner-pocket of my herringbone jacket.

“Yay!” said Matt.

“Hmm…” said Rob.

“Alright,” I began.  “Ten questions.”

1.  What’s your favorite beverage served at chow?

Rob: “Ginger ale mixed with fruit punch.  I call it a Windham Spritzer.”

Matt:  “Orange.  All day long.”

         (This reporter’s exhaustive research shows that most inmates choose iced tea, orange, or cola.)

2.  What’s your favorite part of working in the kitchen?

Rob:  “5:30 P.M.”

Matt:  “Extra food.  Like, lots.  Oh, and the stimulating conversation.”

3.  What’s your least favorite part?

Rob:  “5:30 A.M.”

Matt:  “The humans.  I mean, really, will it kill you to say thank you?”

4.  What are you guys reading at the moment?

Rob:  “Men’s Health.”

Matt:  “Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse.”

5.  What’s the dumbest thing an inmate can do while in the chow line?

Rob:  “Beg for more food.  I mean… please.”

Matt:  “Pounding on the glass.  I mean… please.”

6.  What kind of music are you listening to lately?

Rob:  “Lady Gaga, of course!”

Matt:  “P-6 and the Windham Philharmonic, baby!  The notorious P-6!  Praise be to the Hand!”

Rob:  “The hand?”

(Read more about P-6’s CD, Three More Julys, in our Holiday 2010 Issue)

7.  Tell us something we don’t know about the kitchen.

Rob:  “The extra ingredient… the special ingredient in everything we serve here is love.”

Matt:  “Huh?”

8.  Okay, what’s the biggest change you’ve noticed working down here in the last year or so?

Rob:  “A healthier diet.  Definitely.”

Matt:  “I’m seeing a better quality inmate, actually.”

9.  Moonlight or sunshine?

Rob:  “Sunshine.  While reading Men’s Health, listening to Lady Gaga and enjoying a Windham Spritzer.”

Matt:  “Come on, man.  Did you really think I was gonna say sunlight?  You know me.”

10. Final question:  what do you guys make of the alleged hauntings in the old tower of the education building?

Rob:  “No comment.  This interview is over.”

Matt:  “Uh… we’re not supposed to talk about that.”

“Thank you, both.”

And those were twenty answers to ten questions.  Thank you.

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