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Hey, Circle,

Well, it looks like we’re going to have a  pretty good winter after all.  Getting lots of snow now.  Haven’t seen any yeti running around, although some of the guys are large enough to qualify as yeti.  I guess we are going to get more snow this Wednesday and Thursday.  My New Years is going good.  Heck, no, I wouldn’t mind if anyone out there wanted to write me.

My sister is doing qiuite well.

Good night.

Kenneth McDonald

kenny

I am my own worst enemy.

For most of my life I have denied this and have been okay with not examining the reasons for my troubles.  Today I have decided that enough is enough, starting today I will be my best friend, I will love myself, an I will believe in myself.  I know, I know I am not saying anything new or unknown.  To quote the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident…” but this has not always been the case.  However, recent events in my life have made it abundantly clear that now is the time for change.

I have always looked down on people who have wanted to “recreate” or “reinvent” themselves.  In my mind if you didn’t like a part of who you are then you should have never let it become habit.  It is extremely ironic that I now find myself in situations where I must do the same.  For years I have allowed negative, damaging thoughts, emotions and actions in my life because I believed it was necessary to survive in the situations I found myself in.  Dr. Joe Dispenza has shown me how wrong I was.

“Your personality creates your personal reality.”

Dr. Dispenza says in his movie, Aligning your thoughts and feelings for a New Destiny.  The realization that my thoughts and feelings created my reality was something that I knew but have never explored.  Exploring this has forced me to remove the last of my blinders.  Now, more than ever, I can look around and see my present circumstances for what they are.

My present circumstances are the biggest and best opportunity I have even had to change.  I will no longer be who I think I have to be or who others want me to be.  I will become the man who I want to be.  Recognizing the truth in what Dr. Dispenza says has shown me that I have had and will always have the power to do better.  Dr. Dispenza also speaks about how in every case (that he studied) in which people made a miraculous recovery from a disease or illness, they surrendered themselves to a higher power.  This resonates with me because the idea of surrender has been the best and yet most difficult issue of my faith.

As a Muslim the idea of Allah being in control, wanting what is best for me, and not giving me more problems/pain than I can handle is a balm to my soul. Yet, I struggle with the concept that in order for Allah to be in control, I cannot be. The reality that he knows what is best for me and what is right for me stares me in the face every day.  I can no longer continue to fight it.  I have not demonstrated a love for myself or that I want what is best for myself, because who in their right mind would make the choices I have or want to be where I am?  Yet all of my thoughts have led me to this place.

I am now ready to embody the change that is  necessary for me to be who I should be.  Allah has blessed me with many talents and abilities that I have run from or misused for the majority of my life.  I am done with being somebody who has wasted potential; instead I will be somebody who has realized their potential.  I will not continue to be anything other than the best possible version of myself.  One of my favorite sayings is, “Our biggest fear is not the darkness, it is our light… for who are we to be beautiful?  Who are we to be powerful beyond all belief?”  I am paraphrasing a Nelson Mandela quote.  The events, conversations and lessons of this last year have led me to a point where I understand that without some serious painful introspection I will never stop makin the same mistakes.  It is not enough to not want to make them.  I have to understand why I am making them in the first place.

Starting this process has been eye-opening.  I will probably be doing it for the rest of my life, because once I started I do not wish to stop.. It has brought a clarity into my life that is much need.  I could wax poetically about all of the insights I have gained, but I won’t.  I will instead let them speak for themselves.  I am not the same person that I was last year, last month, last week or even yesterday.  It is my firm belief that these changes I have made and will continue to make will be apparent to all in my life.  It has been a long time coming but I am finally okay with being me.  As l as I am continually striving to be the best version of myself.  Some days I will make mistakes, fall or revert to old habits, but I will never stop picking myself up and trying for better.

As I am,

Prince

prince

Hey, Circle.

I want to thank you for keeping in touch with me all this time.  I love to get mail and to have people to write to and actually write back, you know?

The only reason I hear from my family is when I call or when something happens, you know, like people get hurt or hospitalized, yadda, yadda.  I call and talk to my son a few times a week and I write to him a few time a week also.  I keep a journal that I write to him everyday and sometimes even more than once a day.

I can honestly say that I haven’t heard from his (the victim’s family) at all.  I can bet that when the time comes for me to get released from here and if any of his family is still living I bet they will be here boycotting the release of a crazy murderer, you know.

You guys take care and I am going to write the paragraph that I would like for you to post on Craigslist for me.

Love,

Arline

Personal Ad

I want someone to love me for me, with all of my idiosyncrasies.  I don’t care what you have done as long as you don’t judge me for my past either.  I want people to accept that I have a child and I am in prison for a substantial amount of time.  I want someone to be able to come see me and even continue to see me after I get out and maybe, have a life with me and only God can judge.

You know my name, NOT MY STORY!!!!!!

arline-lawless-7

Hey Circle,

I was glad to hear from you guys.  I guess you could say it was nice to hear from you for yes, you guys are the only ones I hear from.

I want to thank you for the letter from Arline, for she sounds cool.  I hope she likes my letter.  I did try to call you guys, but the heartline was disconnected when I tried.  I guess you could say I need to find a way to break it to Arline that I’m in Prison.  I could still work it out for her to call me for as long as I have money and she had money I could set it up – she calls my Mom the same time as me.  God bless speaker phones.  You know how it is.  I guess the best way to let Arline know where I am is you would have to tell her where I am, after that, I can tell he anything she’d like to know.  I’ll send you another picture for her.

I still await my letter from Crystal, but I don’t hold my breath, for if I did I might die first. (LOL.)  I guess I will let you guys go for now.  Stay safe and I will keep you in my prayers.

Your brother,

Father Joel Dudley, ULC

joel

Hey,

Well, I thought I would send you a new idea for Dungeons and Dragons.  It’s a dwarven race called “the Overdwarves.”

Going to be watching the Superbowl this afternoon.  Hope New England does win.

So how are things going with you guys?  I am still in contact with my sister and she and her husband are doing well, although their dog has diabetes and has to take medication for it.  Brady the labradoodle turned twelve years old this year.

So how are the cats anyway?  Do they try to wake Rage up at three in the morning?

Yes, the Patriots won.

Good night.

Kenneth McDonald

kenny

Hey, Circles

What’s up?  I guess you could say not much has been going on here.  I still have not heard from Lori in almost four months so about now I am ready to say fuck it and just file for divorce, but who knows what is going on with her.  I can’t call her.  I don’t even know if she is still alive.  Funny, right?

So how are things with you?  I still await to hear from Dark Star, but, oh wll, if it never happens – I just know that when you come to prison you ar the last person people care about.  I just hope I hear from my om and Cherokee real soon, but who knows, right?  My Mom said that as soon as she can she was going to see about sending twenty dollars here and there.  I will gelieve it when I see it from here.

I did like your post card that you sent me.  It was cool; thank you.  Sorry that I haven’t written alot.  I guess you could say my depression has really fucked with my head.  I guess you know how that goes, for some of you guys have been in the same type of place as me.  I guess you could say I wish I could have a drink right now.  But, you know how it is.

I guess I will say ‘bye’ for now.  I need to get ready to head back to the unit for count.

Your friend,

Joel

joel

Hey, what’s up?

How are things going, anyway?  Thanks for the postcard of the Old Port.  Looking at it makes me wonder if the place is haunted or not.  It would be pretty cool if it was.

So what’s going on with the game?  Have you guys had time to play it lately?  I’m still working on a few gaming ideas here and there, will be sending you a few new things, sometime near the end of the month.

Well, I guess the winter is finally over, no more snow, I guess.  The weather is kind of nice out.  Well, on June 18th of this year, I will be tuning fifty.   Well, this afternoon, I’m watching a vampire movie called “Queen of the Damned.”

Hoped to hear from you guys soon.

Kenneth McDonald

kenny

On Dafa:

To be always truthful, compassionate, and to have tolerance in our hearts and actions, for all of God’s creations.  To do this in the face of adversity, to stick to the principle of the universe, zhen, shan, ren and is to cultivate our true character, “shing shing.”  this is what is truly correct for out truth in the nature of the cosmos!  This is cultivation!

Love,

Kosmo

So,

Can’t wait to see you, brothers!  July 4th in the a.m.  I took a thirty day set back.  I wasn’t even able to get into court ’til, like, 18 days in, so I figured, what was another week at that point.  This time has been good for reflection.  I have to remain clean or I will end up doing the rest of this year hanging over y head.  And I would prefer not to do that.  I’ll have 8 months left when I get out.  I got to get my self locked on to the right path.  I’m ecstatic to be fully clean from suboxone.  I never realized how tough it could be coming off of it.

So, I got to the jail and a few hours later.  I look up and who do I see?  Yup.  Staci Lace!  Whore!  So Juan bailed her out.  Ha, ha, ha, because Juan has no idea what he’s in for in the long run.  I talked to her a little bit and gathered that she has trial June 16th for the stolen car.  She followed me even to jail. Ugh.

So, no Maggie, no?  We’ll track her down, my brothers.  I hope this letter finds you doing well.  I miss you and Bella terrible and I can’t wait to sees you.  I’m mailing this out on Monday night so you probably won’t get ut until Thursday, at which point I’ll be home within.. months?  I’ll get released at 9am on a Saturday.

Love you, brothers,

Kosmo

 

Dear Mrs. Buffet,

My name is Dan Fortune and I am currently one of the happiest, proudest and most excited beneficiaries of your Sunshine Lady Foundation.  I would like to take this time to thank you for allowing me this priceless opportunity to get a college education.  I cannot put into words what your kindness and generosity have meant.  I am currently serving a life sentence and being allowed this opportunity has helped me regain a sense of meaning and self-worth.  I had promised my mother that I would go to college and while my actions and choices made that impossible on the street, the unfulfilled promise had added weight to the suffocating mass that was slowly crushing me.  Being able to attend college classes is a blessing.  To be ale to focus, stretch, and grow my mind in a positive vein has completely transformed my outlook.  Being locked up is a a burden to be sure, but one that, with discipline and vigilance can be managed and even embraced.  That burden I carry is the weight of hopes, dreams and expectation of not only a better tomorrow, but also my being a better man.  College ha reminded me that I am more that a number, that I am more than the sum of my worse mistakes.  Being chosen to be a beneficiary has helped me to recognize my humanity and that my gifts, talents and abilities need to be used in a positive manner, because everyone has a right to be helped, just as I was.

As I am,

Daniel Prince Fortune

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Political Prisoners

Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

In collaboration with the Holistic Recovery Project, the Political Prisoners Blog provides a prisoner's view into what's happening at Maine's correctional facilities.

Only your vigilance on the outside can guarrentee that justice goes on on the inside.

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