You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘addiction’ tag.

Welcome to where words fly.

Fists of fury & People furiously cry.

Welcome to a knife in the back.

Welcome to War&Senseless Attacks.

No Place to hide from Genocide.

Bombs drop& Innocents Die.

An Age where down is up &Up is down.

Welcome to the testing ground!!

Welcome to murder.Welcome to Rape.

Black rolling karma&Heavy fate.

Welcome to Anonymous Sex Gamble ‘R’ Us.

Welcome Addictions bus after bus.

Welcome the theft. Welcome the sloth.

Welcome the cauldron of bubbling Broth.

Witches&Black Mas&Spice of illusion.

No safety in life,when life is delusion.

If ever there was an age of a Schism.

Religious confusion-Is confusion ism

Welcome to the testing Ground!!

The testing ground where cause and affect.

Transfer to blessings or transfer to regret.

Jesus when will they they turn their cheek?

When will they count victory as defeat??

When will they count loss as a win??

Accumulate a blessing,Must give up a sin.

Tolkien described it with Ores&Elves.

Dante with Inferno’s  & layers of hell.

Ding,Ding,Ding, Goes the Testing Bell!

So one more Dimension The failure creates.

One more chance for the creatures of hate.

Is it to late to resonate to sound?

Of success down here of the Testing Ground.

Its hard down here on the testing ground!

-KABIR

 

v

 

 

 

Correctional Corruption

Posted by Rage in the new Political Prisoner Blog: https://politicalprisoner.wordpress.com/

One of my names is Robert James Bartlett, and my Maine Department of Corrections number is 32270. I’m currently incarcerated at the Windham Maine Correctional Center, doing 17 months for violating probation on a conviction of OUI which occurred in 2004. I suffer from a mental illness, addiction and residuals from a traumatic brain injury. Here’s my groove on Corrections in the State of Maine:

While Incarcerated at Kennebec County Correctional Facility in January of 2009, I pulled one of my best friends from a shower where he hadcommitted suicide by hanging. Arthur Brian Traweek was a co-founder of the Holistic Recovery Project, and suffered from a mental illness. We were both successful graduates of the Kennebec county Co-Occurring Disorders Court Program.

Brian was only serving a 6 month sentence, but he’d been threatening suicide since his incarceration in November. While hanging from a sheet in the shower, an officer, Herreva went through our block for a check and actuallyopened the door to the shower room & seemed to look inside. (Apparently not.) After we pulled Brian out of the shower and alerted the guards, it was perhaps 8 minutes before they began performing mouth to mouth resuscitation on Brian. Why? No one could find a “separator:” a 25 cent plastic piece which rests between a victims lips and a rescuers (to prevent infection?) When they arrived, they said that he’d had a pulse. 8 minutes. Now he’s dead.

Brian had tried to commit suicide before, but with his particular illness most successful suicides are actual accidental. Brian counted on the jail to protect him. (To read the full deposition on Brian’s wrongful death, written only hours after the tragedy – click here).

What happened? There was an official police investigation. Nothing came of it. Maine State Civil Liberties Union promised to look into it, but never did.

Carol Caruthers of NAMI did stage a vigil, a candlelight vigil for Brian, right outside our window at the jail. It was attended by people who’d never visited Brian while he was alive. Neither would any of the crowd be visiting any of us who survived. We were treated to a crowd of candle-holding strangers, drinking coffee (which we couldn’t) and smoking cigarettes (which we couldn’t.)

As a fellow inmate said: “Who are these people? Brian never got any visitors when he was alive! Coffee and cigarettes? Why don’t they strippers out there too & call it good?!”

This was while we all faced showering in the same shower my friend had just hung himself in.

I have to throw in a special shout out to Carol Caruthers, who organized the worthless vigil – oh, made the paper, though, didn’t it, Carol? Carol, the executive Director of NAMI, Maine – National Association of Mentally Ill? NAMI did nothing. NAMI didn’t give a fuck. We even asked Carol over & over again to help re-open the investigation! “Please, Carol, Please!! Help us!! Read NAMI’s own reports on those of us with mental illness & addiction, killing ourselves in jail! Help us Carol!”

Carol & NAMI do not care. But they did have that nifty candlelight vigil!

Fuck you, Carol. Fuck you, NAMI.

Brian’s dead.

How many more of us will die, Carol?

Just keep cashing your checks, love.

In the System’s defense – did they ask to become, as Sheriff Randal Liberty so aptly put it recently, “the number one provider of mental health services in Maine?” No, they did not. Jails are for what? Punishment. As Bo Lozoff says, jail is “intended to punish them, pure & simple – to punish, hurt, confuse, emasculate, and eventually break their contrary spirits.” Or, as a friend of mine from Texas said to me before my most recent arrest, “Y’all got only a little over a million people in your whole one-syllable state –  how can your prisons be over-crowded?”

Jails were never designed to treat those of us with serious mental illness or addiction, any more than they were meant to treat cancer or leprosy.

What can we do to change things?

What can you do? Please – get involved. Nothing happens from within, and I guarantee you – all of the powers that be know the truth about Brian’s death, but no one will do anything to change the status quo unless we the people demand it. Call your legislator, your governor – call Carol – at NAMI, Maine. Ask her what time it is. Join the Holistic Recovery Project at http://holistix.atspace.com/wholeness.htm – we have a mailing list there too.

They incarcerate the mentally ill & the addicted, then they release them – untreated – back into your neighborhood.

If the powers that be lived in your neighborhood, perhaps more of us would be sent to rehabs & psychiatric hospitals. Perhaps there’d be money for those programs.

Only you can make it happen.

Please do. Because I guarantee – right now – some twenty-something is sitting in a cell & he’s coming off of opiates & his mental illness is causing him to believe that there’s only one way out.

(Rage has a blog: http://holistixrage.wordpress.com/)

– Rage

Originally posted at https://holistixrage.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/correctional-corruption/

 

Thanks for getting right back to me.  It’s 6:12am and I’m waiting for count.  I just finished my readings that I do every morning: Daily Bread, Daily reflections, as Bill Sees It.  This morning there is a big book meeting that just started where an outsider comes in.

We don’t get the new catalog for the care package until the end of next month, and then I’d have to fill it out and Circle would have to call it in.  But, you guys would need a credit card.  But we do have a very good commissary.  And no, I don’t have any fines or restitution.

The reason why I didn’t want Kennebec County time is because the food was awful, the guards were cocky, the place was filthy.  As far as Pete , he’s go about a year and a half and he can retire.

I’m taking eight different classes.

Hey, you guys told me that Rage’s birthday was happening, but you didn’t say when.  I turned 54 in November.

If you don’t mind, could you guys send me some money for commissary, plus, we can smoke.  $5.84 for 1839s.  I have to bum cigarettes and it’s so hard to find one.

What ever happened to Isaac on Sunday mornings at WMPG?  You guys turned me on to him and he was great, but now he’s gone.

Love,

Miss Linda

misslinda

March 13th, 2015

Hello, folks.  Well, today is friday the 13th and nothing unlucky is happening.  I guess the unluckiness of friday the 13th has  been greatly over-hyped.  WEll, I heard tomorrow we are supposed to be getting about a foot of snow mixed in with rain.  Oh, well.  Spring will be here soon.  I think this Tuesday is Saint Patrick’s day, isn’t it.  So how did yo like that character write-up?  I kind of tried to make him unique.  So how did you guys like the map of the University and the adventure ideas?  The dorm buildings are circular and each dorm room holds two students each and the dorms are co-ed.  Each dorm holds up to fifty students.

March 14th, 2015

Well, it’s raining down here, so it must be snowing there?  Hey, you guys remember the old Transformers series from years ago?  Well, the Cartoon Network has a new Transformers series.  They are going to be on at 6:30pm on Saturday mornings on the Cartoon Network.  The original Transformers bumble bee is on it.  But, Optimus Prime is supposedly dead.  Well, I cam up with an idea for a secret society for your campaign.  I hope you guys like it.

The Blood-Shark Society.

The Blood-Shark Society is a group of fanatical shark worshippers.  There are 250 members and fifty of them can turn into were-sharks.  They seek out people to capture and feed to a species of red skinned sharks.  They believe that each sacrifice prevents the flooding of the World.   It is the sharks themselves that have implanted this idea into their heads.

Kenneth MacDonald

owl

Well,

I’m almost done this bid.  112 days left.

Boy, there’s a lot of bullying and saving seats in here.  It’s like kindergarten with these people.  I’m still going to meetings and groups.  I started a writing class; it’s alright.  A little boring.  The one I really enjoyed which we graduated from about two weeks ago was Houses of Healing, a very intense group where you try to find your inner self.  I’ve got about three more classes in Moving oOn, I’ll be graduating the GEAR group.  I’ve got about six more classes in codependency group.  “They” put me in the 18th, I’ll be starting “Seeking Safety”.  I’m in

Sarssm group untill May.  That’s a really good group about trauma.  I’ve got a really great sponsor; she’s got 35 years of sobriety.  She’s taking through this book called “the steps we took.”  She also comes in on Sundays and she’s taking everyone through the Big Book.  April 13th will be my big first year of Sobriety.

Hope to hear from you guys soon.

Miss Linda

Hey, Circle!

It’s good to hear from you guys.  Hope that all is well.  I’m doing alright, living the dream, you know?  Waiting on Pre-Trial to get me outta here.  It’s such a slow process, because I was using and I don’t have an address currently.  They’re putting me in a twenty-eight day rehab program on the border of Canada.

I’m having a status conference soon, and if I’m able to get out of here without Pre-trial, I’ll be back at the Preb; Pretrial won’t release me straight to there… but, yeah, I’ll be going to a sober house called “the Farm”  in LImestone, Maine.  Temporarily.  But my dad’s helping me out with an apartment and a car as soon as my court stuff is resolved, hopefully after the 28 day rehab.  I’m hoping that I can plead out at my status conference and get time served, and if not then with probation,  I doubt that, because it’s a class B felony but the jail is at max capacity.  I haven’t been indicted that I know of; my case is all hear-say.  No hard evidence.  They searched my place and didn’t find anything.

Say a prayer: I’ve been here 86 days so far.  Hope to see everyone on the outs; hope to get a place in Portland.

Hope to hear back from you guys soon,

Tom

Hi,

I wrote back faster this time.

Every night here, I walk two miles on the treadmill.  I’m not rolling out of here!  I’m doing about 14 months on 18 months.

They have a clothes closet so you can wear regular clothes.  Feels so good.  We even get commissary between 7 to 730am.  When I first came here, a very nice woman crocheted me a blanket for my bed.  You’re never in your room, though.  The longest time we’re in our rooms is during visits (4hours.)  They even have a yarn bank (scrap) where you can get yarn to crochet whatever you want.

Next Monday I’ll be celebrating six months sober!  They’re gonna mention it at the town meeting on Wednesday.  I’m flying right by these women.  I go to four AA meetings a week, doing classes, working with mental health, bible study.  There’s still some classes I”m still waiting to take.  I signed up for four more classes.  I”m so happy and I like where I am.  Today, and every morning, I read “My Daily Bread” and daily reflection.

Hope to hear from more of you guys.

Love,

Miss Linda

Hi. Your letter got sent back, because the letter was too big. So here is one with my name.  Send me a letter.

How is all of you?  I have been in for 3 1/2 months.  I be out in April or May.  Miss you guys.  I have money now.  Tell the guys I said hi.  Thanks for the Christmas card.  The Goblin was in here two times.  What is Rage’s real name?

Someone come visit me.  Wednesday: 830pm, Saturday: 545pm.

I am doing pushups every day.  Walking.  I gained 20 pounds since October first.  I wrote new songs.  I have my own cell.  I got turned down for a work release.

Well, write me.

Star Blanket

Hi, free world.  How are you?  I’m fine, thanks, and a little pale.

Windham Prison is kind of an unpleasent place to be, yet these things happen when you’re doing things that do not agree with your center, or the Tao.  So, I’m serving 16 months in prison because I was staying with the “victim” of my domestic violence case.  The State said “Don’t go see her.”  And I did, anyway.  What made things worse is that she did some things (constantly) that my ego, psyche and person/human-hood would not stand for, whether (spell check) or not she admits it.  With this time I have decided to re-evaluate everything I have ever known and hopefully learn some new things.

Day to day is inconvenient.  I can’t do all the things I could on the street.  I miss smoking cigs the most.  But I get by, being in A-Pod or going throught the classification process is no fun.  We are locked down 21 hours a day.  There aren’t many programs availavble here; it’s limited to one library book by request form a week and  bible study.  And that’s everything,.  I have seen a head-shrinker, a substance abuse councillor, and a nurse.  Time seems to be going smoothly despite the lock-down time.  “Lord of  Chaos” by Robert Jorden helps the time pass rather well.  I hope “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand does the same.  I think the education director told me to be well.

That reminds me of someone I know, which then reminds me of a delusional stuffed bear.  But, that, like most things, is beside the point.  All right-minded people and some that are not can really do only one thing in here.  Try to make the best of our time.  Speaking of time, that’s all I have for you this week, so I’ll see you in the next.

Yours truly,
Truly yours,

Mustafa

What’s killing your heart?  I sit, filled with love, hope, peace, silence, prayer?  Or is your heart filled with fears, obsessions, worries, dissatisfaction?  Is your heart filled with addictive thinking or behaviour?  Whether you are a person in jail or new to the concept of peace, I hope you will find time to examine your own heart and identify your own challenges.

There are empty places that I cannot fill.  Deep pains that still haunt me.  So, I fill my self with things that don’t satisfy.  Things to soften the ache inside.  It is an endless cycle of stuffing down the truth of my heart – instead of letting it soar freely.  For only in truth can I find release.   But when I face the reality of the darkness, the truth of all things that hold me, the chains can be broken and the path to healing can begin.

Truly loving the self involves willingly befriending what emerges into the light of conciouslness.  Befriending doesn’t mean always agreeing or cooperating.  It  means, in a way, treating the different aspects of ourselves as “others” the same way we might tyreat them if they appeared in other people.  We listen respectfully, cooperated and cherish or forgive, as called for.  Should some aspect of the self prove difficult or an enemy, we practice the difficult art of blessing it and praying for it, seeking out the heart of its disturbance rather that hating it, cursing it, and seeking to destroy it – even while we restrain ourselves from acting it out.

Growth is not always about getting through terrible pain.  Most often it involves change, perhaps only a small shift in awareness or embracing a good part of you that got lost.

Ust the things of this world as nature needs them, but not with excessive attachment.  For people become like what they love.

Frankie McNiece

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 186 other followers

Political Prisoners

Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

In collaboration with the Holistic Recovery Project, the Political Prisoners Blog provides a prisoner's view into what's happening at Maine's correctional facilities.

Only your vigilance on the outside can guarrentee that justice goes on on the inside.

If you'd like to contact one of our inmate bloggers, send us an email.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support.