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Hey everybody out there,

I just got done facilitating a class.  I have another class at 9:30 to 11:30.  Then the rain closet.

I just want to talk about some stuff to try to sell on the internet so I can get some money.  I need money in the worst way, too.  My boss is on  leav4e for a while and I am trying to save the stamps and phone time untill next month.  She didn’t put in 9our hours or anything so I don’t even know if we are going to be getting paid the whopping twentyfive hours I got in July.  Fucking sucks.  Got a raise to 80 cents and hour,  but, 35% comes off the top before I even see any of it.

Sorry.  I am bitching again.  Just stressing about stuff, you know.  As far as selling stuff I have: a paintings on canvas: “tulips,”  “space,”  “chickadees,”  “a spooky tree with an evil moon in back,”  “a big eyeball with yin-hang for the pupil,”  “a city scape at night reflecting on the water,” and, last one: “a shack on ocean front with clouds.”

I can also crochet stuff.  Like, to order.  I can bang out hats in two hours with stuff grafted onto them.  Actually, everyone wants hats with their MDOC# on them.  Also with their children’s names on them.

We get two free mailing a week here, but that’s about it.

Hope to hear from someone soon.

Love: Arline

arline.july.2017

Hey, Circle,

Today would have been my Bampi’s birthday.  But, since he has passed on, I guess he won’t be getting older, huh?  I called you guys around 7:30 pm earlier, but no answer.  Don’t know if there is a specific time I should call or what, but I tried and I will again in a day or so.

When I didn’t hear from anyone for a few days I was worried that I had did something to piss you guys off.  But, thank God, just a big worry wart, I guess.

As far as writing goes, I do, or did take writing classes, but I have always loved to write, even before I got arrested.  I am working on a memoir of the Arline Lawless story.

My son, Damien, is doing good.  He starts tutoring on the 11th.  He is a little handsome devil.  He looks just like me.  When I get rich and famous I will send you guys a picture of our visit in May.

I have P.T.S.D.  When a door slams, it sends me into a panic attack.  Guess that has to do with the gunshot wound to the face, but hey, I am also afraid to get into a relationship for fear that the same thing will happen.  I talk to mental health a lot.  I think I might have sensory problems too.

What do you think of that?

Love,

Arline

arline.july.2017

Hi, Circle.

Here’s more on stress here, and ways of coping.

We have a gym here, the only downside to that is there is only space for about three people to do a workout video.  There is also exercise equipment, you know, like the elliptical, bicycles, tread climber, and of course yoga mats and exercise balls.  Once again, there is not enough room for more than three to four people to work out in there at a time unless you are over in the corner on one of the machines.  We have some very dedicated women who work out faithfully everyday here.  Which is fine, but what about people who want to try to get their body back and just try to be as healthy as they can be?  There is neither time not space for them to do that, and if they work, the net day working out at ten o’clock at night is just not really in the cards for them.

We also have a rec yard.  You have to walk to circle twenty six times to have walked a mile.  WE have a volleyball net and a basketball net.  I like to play volleyball and basketball on the outside but not on the inside.  See, I don’t like to go outside because we are fenced in and we have barbed wire on the top of the fence.  I imagine that it is like that in other prisons (!) However, when you have twenty-five years or so left it can be a little depressing.  We can also play cards and buy our own decks, but how many times can you play spades or cribbage?  I mean, it is fine for the time being, but playing it repeatedly can get a little monotonous.  Don’t get me wrong though, I like to play card games.  We even make up our own card games.

We also have a library where people can take out up to four books at a time.  I have read a good amount of books since I have been here.  I have a big reading list also, but many of the books on my list cost money, which is something that I don’t have for such frivolous items.  Women here have televisions, radios, CD players, and of course there are that few that have Play Station 2s.  Once again, I am not one of those lucky women.  I have a radio, but that’s about it.

I love to crochet; in fact, I was in the process of making thread bags with little pictures graphed into them.  I made blankets with pictures, or words graphed into them also.  However,the thing that I like the most is graphing with thread.  I really like a challenge; the more difficult the task is the more I tend to like it.  That’s a big stress reliever for me.  I am trying to do independent study so I can have a career when I am released.  I love to learn new things (I guess you could say that I’m a bit of a nerd.)  I would love to study ornithology and maybe someday get to work with birds.

Lastly, the ways that most women cope with stress here is keeping contact with the outside world.  I know that I try to keep contact with the outside world a lot.  I just wan to know that someone on the outside is still thinking about me.  It seems like to most women here that they are forgotten about most of the time.  That is why a lot of women look for pen pals to correspond with; that way they can feel like they are still loved and that people actually care about them.  I know that having a pen-pal that would like to get to know me and maybe even go further when I get out has made my stress level decrease a hell of a lot.

Write me!

Love,

Arline

arline.july.2017

Circle,

How are you?  I guess you could say I am okay, but I want  you guys to know you are a really hard bunch to get a hold of on the phone.

I got your letter on Thursday, plus the ones from Arline (Lawless) but no, I never got one from Robyn (aka Snax), but I guess you could say that is Kool (LOL.)

Yes, my ministry is going good, but of course it is still hard when you are broke.  As you know, now, Lori and I don’t speak so I don’t have help when it comes to money.  Why do you think it is hard to get stamps and other stuff?  Well, the Lord will provide; He always does, you know.

I guess I should tell you guys that the Feds are not like State.  You don’t get free anything.  You are on the hook for it all here, so yes, I spend the $5.00 I get a month from my job here on hygiene and a few dollars on the phone for my mom, and if I can, my kids, for Lori is doing her best to keep them from me.

But, yes, I do try to call  you guys, for yes, it would be great to hear a voice from a friend or two.  For you guys are my only friends on the outside.  I guess you could say that D.S. is also a friend, but as you know, I don’t hear from her like I hear from you.  As you know, I only heard from her once in my five years in.  If anyone hears from her, tell her that I am still waiting for her next letter.  She can’t say she is all that busy.  She can write me.

Well, I will let you folks go for now.  I hope that everyone is having a blessed summer.

your friend,

Father Dudley

CCI07142017

Hey, Circle,

Where can I start about the sources of stress in here?  There are so many forms of stress from the guards screaming at the top of their lungs to your family not being able to come and see you because they were two minutes late for the check in.  That is complete bullshit.  If you as me especially when your family drives two and a half hours to see you.  In fact, there are a few women in here where their family  members drive over seven hours to come and see them and they were denied because they were late.

I can tell you that it is like antelope in mating season here now.  We just got eleven new people that came up from the pods.  That may not seem like a whole lot of people but when there is just over eighty women up here in the women’s enter and 10% of those women that you are used to seeing everyday leave for pre-release or get to go home on home confinement or are just released can cause a whole lot of stress.

Some women here are still in segregation because they can’t handle all the stress here.  I was one of those women, only I was not put into segregation.  I just stayed in my room and never came out except for meds and sometimes meals.  I am here for a good chunk of time and I decided that when I first got here that I was going to sleep my bid away.  This worked for almost two years.  However, there were some women here that I am so glad to have met, just wish that it were under different circumstances they would come to my door and bang on it and yell, “You get out of that bed right now and you come out here and play spades with us.”

I can tell you that that really boosted my confidence that there were women here that actually gave a shit about me.  See, we are like a family here.  There are a few women that you want to get to know, and then there are a few that you can either take or leave.  Lastly, there are the few that NOBODY can stand to be around because these women are so negative all the time and are evil manipulating bitches, if you will.

Well, got way off track,there but ways that we cope with stress is crocheting or knitting.  That is not something that we are able to do as of now, because they took everything in the last raid that we had in the beginning of April. Some short timers here took it into their own hands to say that their roommate was threatening them with crochet needles.  Mind you that there has not been a problem here in over 14 years with the crocheting and knitting.  I guess it just takes one person to screw it all up for all of us, huh?

  • To be continued.

Love,

Arline

arline.june.2017

Dear Circle:

I feel like shit.  I had a siezure friday night at 11:00pm.  I put my teeth through my bottem lip.  I’ve been sleeping since Friday night.  It is now Sunday night.  Takes alot out of me.

I can’t wait to hear from you guys.  Need numbers to call to talk to you people out there.  I need pictures of all of you two.  I would love a picture of a guy with a hairy chest with his shirt off!  I love resting my head on a hairy chest!arline.july.2017

Here is a picture of me.  I hope you guys like it.

Love,

Arline

 

I was having a sex dream.  Don’t know who he was but he was slowly sliding his cock into me.  I was slowly getting wetter.  In fact when I woke up I had wet undies.  I was right on the verge of orgasm when I hear a knocking on the door.  Fuck.

Now, I am sitting ere in my 8′ by 10′ two-person cell at 1:00 a.m.  I am writing letters to people who never write back.  So, I might as well stop writing to them for they have forgotten about me.  Nobody cares.  Feel like nobody loves me on the outside, like they don’t have time for me.

There is a lot of shit going on in here.  There are guards who play favoritism to inmates or as we prefer to be called “residents.”  To top it all off they took all of our crocheting and knitting stuff and anything that we had in progress.  Pisses me off something wicked.

I really want some guys to write me.  I can skype, and I love writing and recieving the dirtiest letters.  My ultimate fantasy is to have one cock in all three of my holes and to have both of my nipples being sucked on at the same time.  What’s yours?

Love,

Arline

arline-lawless-2

 

Hey, Circle.

I want to thank you for keeping in touch with me all this time.  I love to get mail and to have people to write to and actually write back, you know?

The only reason I hear from my family is when I call or when something happens, you know, like people get hurt or hospitalized, yadda, yadda.  I call and talk to my son a few times a week and I write to him a few time a week also.  I keep a journal that I write to him everyday and sometimes even more than once a day.

I can honestly say that I haven’t heard from his (the victim’s family) at all.  I can bet that when the time comes for me to get released from here and if any of his family is still living I bet they will be here boycotting the release of a crazy murderer, you know.

You guys take care and I am going to write the paragraph that I would like for you to post on Craigslist for me.

Love,

Arline

Personal Ad

I want someone to love me for me, with all of my idiosyncrasies.  I don’t care what you have done as long as you don’t judge me for my past either.  I want people to accept that I have a child and I am in prison for a substantial amount of time.  I want someone to be able to come see me and even continue to see me after I get out and maybe, have a life with me and only God can judge.

You know my name, NOT MY STORY!!!!!!

arline-lawless-7

Hey Circle,

I was glad to hear from you guys.  I guess you could say it was nice to hear from you for yes, you guys are the only ones I hear from.

I want to thank you for the letter from Arline, for she sounds cool.  I hope she likes my letter.  I did try to call you guys, but the heartline was disconnected when I tried.  I guess you could say I need to find a way to break it to Arline that I’m in Prison.  I could still work it out for her to call me for as long as I have money and she had money I could set it up – she calls my Mom the same time as me.  God bless speaker phones.  You know how it is.  I guess the best way to let Arline know where I am is you would have to tell her where I am, after that, I can tell he anything she’d like to know.  I’ll send you another picture for her.

I still await my letter from Crystal, but I don’t hold my breath, for if I did I might die first. (LOL.)  I guess I will let you guys go for now.  Stay safe and I will keep you in my prayers.

Your brother,

Father Joel Dudley, ULC

joel

Dear Circle,

I love birds. I can write to you about them if you want to hear it. I raise doves. In addition, the place where we were we made a room for doves. We put hay down; they had a spot so they can multiply. A big water container and a big thing of food. Of course I was in there with them all the time. They had a birdbath that I paid $50 for.

Well, I guess I can tell you about my doves. Damien my son was about two years old. He kept saying “birdie, mama. Birdie, mama.” I said, “yeah we live in Rockland there are all kinds of birds.” Now after the third time of Damien saying “Momma, birdie.” I was changing the oil in my car. Then I got it off and the oily black stuff came out on me. I was not mad at Damien, just a little pissed off that I got the lug nut off.

Therefore, I took his jacket off and Damien keeps going “Momma, birdie. Momma, birdie.” Therefore, I put in “Rio” the child’s movie and put him in his playpen and I took my shower. The whole time I was in the bathroom , he kept yelling “Momma, birdies.” Therefore, I came out and heard this whining and his jacket was moving. I was, “What the fuck did he drag home this time.” I picked up a baby dove. Damien found the baby in the mud puddle. He asked we keep. I said, Sure, we can talk more after I talked about the baby dove and her name was “Peitrie” We didn’t know she was a female until she laid eggs.

From: Arline

arline-lawless-7

 

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Political Prisoners

Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

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