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To my friends in Christ:

I thought I would let you know Lori’s not really speaking to anyone right now for we are still awaiting fo find out who could have done this crap to me.

I don’t know if you heard what is going on but the feds raided the house looking for child porn and they are trying to get me for it.

They found a coup[le of DVD’s in my office that had a mix of all types of porn.  don’t ask me how it got there but it was in a mixture of shit.

Rob is telling the feds it was all me for he said he never used my laptop and that he didn’t use Ares on the computer.  But both Lori and I feel with all of the crap I read and the fact Rob told Lori’s brother ‘s girl friend that he almost go busted for the same thing in Florida.

M lawyer is looking for him, but can’t find him, I guess.  Don’t understand why they can’t for people I know see him.

Tried to call Seth but this jail phone sucks so I will pass on his number to wifely.

I guess I could really use the Lord a lot more but for some how someway I reel I am turning away from him and I really don’t want to.

I love and miss you alot, and all of the church stuff is safe with Lori.  She has most of it but other than that I don’t know.

Fuck man, I just wish I know or should say knew who it is who was looking up child porn, but I don’t really know or have a way to prove it for I wiped all computers but my laptop.  someone did this and someone made discs and now I am fucked.

Hey, I could use a copy of the free list.
God bless and pray,

Father Joel Dudley

I find myself today in the belly of an angry beast

I have been swallowed whole and am not harmed in the least

Simply inhaled it seems from one harsh world into another

I am entombed inside this darkened womb as if by a mother

The feedings are quite meaningless a symbiotic act of time

for punishment as severe as this there never was a crime

of all the things I’ve earned so far they simply did deprive

The beast takes all there is of me and more so it can thrive

one day again my friend on the battlefield I will arrive

bloody and worn, broken and torn, but I’ll be fighting and alive

so for this day I only pray that I find my trusty knife

so that I may slay this Bitch and get out of here with my life.

The times when you feel you’re going to fall flat on your face.

I worked for months on end trying to put stuff together. I worked night and day. The day came. My nerves were jumping all around; I didn’t know how I got myself in this. Everyone is telling me, “I can do this” Then it is over and everything went off without a hitch.

This is how things went this week when I had to preach. My first time with a group full of men. I have always preached to teens and young kids. (No, I am not an offender.) The youth is the future of this world so that is why I work with them more than adults.

But I thank all those who supported me on this matter. I feel with everyone’s help, we as a church family here at MCC can grow and make it through this time of trial.

– Rev. Joel Ryan Dudley
MDOC# 17574
17 Mallison Falls Rd
Windham, ME 04062

My name is Nikolas Mcgrane, MDOC# 67033

I suffer from pericarditis. Everyone has a pericardium, the tissue surrounding the heart. Mine, for unknown reason, gets inflamed, squeezing my heart. On 7/5 I started experiencing chest pains, but I decided to wait & see if they’d pass. By 7/8 it was so bad, I did ask for help. I was given prednisone, to bring down the swelling & something for pain. That night the pain was back & I was afraid I was gonna die. (My Fiance Courtney is pregnant with our 2nd child due to be born in October). A bunch of C/Os came to my room, but they refused to bring me to the hospital. Instead, I was up all night waiting for my heart to stop until 830 the next day when medical finally came.

If I die, now you know why.


Nick McGrane, MDOC# 67033
MCC, Windham

Joe Vereen, again, MDOC# 111925.

I forgot some things last time & we have to change things, right? I went to jail in 9/09 on a domestic. It was just an argument & we would have been fine, but, since OJ Simpson, the State of Maine won’t let women drop domestic charges. So here I am. Anyway. I have 3 children, 2 girls & a son (born this February!) On Christmas Eve, the COs told me to call my sister. (I can’t call my kid’s mom, still, cause of my charges.) So I called my sister: my 3 year old daughter, Mackenzie, was diagnosed with cancer. It was in 90% of her spleen. What a mess. She’s okay now, but it was touch & go for a while. I went to court in Bath, my lawyer swore I’d be granted bail (wasn’t). My lawyer urged me to accept a deal, help for me to work things out so that I could contact my kid’s mom – didn’t happen.

The worse piece – I begged my court-appointed lawyer, John Handleman, to help me. My daughter could die! I said. He replied, “If she dies, she dies. You’ll just have to deal with it.” (Remember that, and him, whoever reads this!)

So I took a deal this March: I’m out in 9 months, with 3 years probation. Mackenzie will be getting treatment for the next 2 1/2 years. If my wife is okay with me, loves me, &c? Does anyone know how we can be allowed contact again? Please pray for my daughter & my wife.


– Joe
MDOC# 111925.

I am currently incarcerated at the Maine Department of Corruptions in Windham, Maine. Prior to this I had done no jail time, county time included. The first thing i got to experience was the state’s “overflow tool,” the Pods. A place in which all walks of prison community get to mingle, from minimum security inmates to maximum security inmates. Apparently the aim of these pods is to give the staff to classify our security level, which takes anywhere from 4-8 weeks. I got to spend 6 weeks in the pods.

From there I was placed in a program called the “Supervised Community Confinement Program,” essentially house arrest. I came into this program with very high hopes of success. But as the days went on, I got to witness the manner in which things were carried out. I was informed of a 96% success rate, but later was informed that placement in halfway homes were included in this figure. In the time that I have been here I have seen approximately 8 men leave, 3 of whom actually went home. This has been very discouraging to say the least. False hopes hurt, but the worst part is the hope it provides to my fiancee and 8 month old son. Such matters do not really seem to hold imperativeness to the staff here.

I am unsure to validity of this comment, but I assume such a program must bring in some sort of federal funding. I say this because I receive a stipend check from the state every month for just being a body in the program, no work, no schooling, just being there. There are certain things that must be completed to attain the house arrest. One being an enlightening course called, “Thinking for a Change,” that teaches such priceless skills as listening, asking questions and assessing high risk thoughts. And the other being an intensive outpatient program for alcohol/drug dependency.

Being in here, many of the question I have are left unanswered. Such as, is there federal funding? Are such placements of house arrest pre-determined? What is the rate of individuals sent home on house arrest? Granted most of the questions cannot be answered through any amount of research or records accessible to the public, it may easy my mind a bit. Other issues I have are overstaffing, word is there are 3 dieticians and 9 cooks. Hard telling not knowing, I guess. Or my roommate was a master carpenter; he worked in the wood shop for 1.10 an hour. Top of the line work is almost an understatement, my question is, the sale of such work from an artisan, where does the money go? To us the inmates or paying wages?

I guess really I just want to provoke thought into you. We pay very high taxes in Maine, and after seeing a jail work from the inside, I think I see how deep the rabbit hole really goes.

– Josh McKay
MDOC# 05820

If I did become a missionary over in Africa, I tell you, the conversation would quickly go like this: “I will trade you this snickers bar, right now, for your child.”

Dear Amber,

Hey girl, what’s going on? How have you been doing lately? It’s been a long time since I talked to you. As you can probably figure, I fucked up pretty good. I am just finishing up a 2-year prison sentence. I got 36 days left. I spanked my stepdaughter a little too hard one day. I left a dark red handprint on her butt. So I got charged with assault. Me, Cyndy and the girls left the state. We went to North Carolina and tried to start over. Cyndy was pregnant with my daughter Cyara May Wood. What a beautiful little girl, Amber. Well, the police issued a warrant. They tracked us to our place in NC. Well, I got extradited back to Maine. They gave me 2 years for the charge. Well, I lost Cyndy, the state made us go our own ways! So here I am. I come out yesterday and I see Robin. We were talking and your name came up. Only in a good way though! So I decided to write a letter to you. I am having him send the letter because I don’t know your address. I have thought about you from time to time. I really enjoyed chillin’ together. And that’s not all I enjoyed. But I won’t go there, I’ll be good! :) I guess I’ll let you go. I would love to hear from you if you want to write back. Let me know how Sassy and Saber are doing? And of course, let me know how you are. All right girl, I hope to hear from you.


– Ryan Wood,  L. L. :)
MDOC# 13511

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Political Prisoners

Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

In collaboration with the Holistic Recovery Project, the Political Prisoners Blog provides a prisoner's view into what's happening at Maine's correctional facilities.

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