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prince

“He, who is attached to much, will suffer much.” I love this quote. I am a somebody who is attached to many things. I also hate to make mistakes. I am rarely satisfied with an A when it is possible for me to get an A+. I have never thought about giving myself permission to make mistakes. I generally go about the thought process of making mistakes like this. I try to avoid making them but I know that they are inevitable. I am a firm believer in if you are not making mistakes then you are not trying hard enough. Having the courage to try something eight times is a remarkable story of strength. I will have to work on giving myself permission to be gentle on myself.

Well,

I’m almost done this bid.  112 days left.

Boy, there’s a lot of bullying and saving seats in here.  It’s like kindergarten with these people.  I’m still going to meetings and groups.  I started a writing class; it’s alright.  A little boring.  The one I really enjoyed which we graduated from about two weeks ago was Houses of Healing, a very intense group where you try to find your inner self.  I’ve got about three more classes in Moving oOn, I’ll be graduating the GEAR group.  I’ve got about six more classes in codependency group.  “They” put me in the 18th, I’ll be starting “Seeking Safety”.  I’m in

Sarssm group untill May.  That’s a really good group about trauma.  I’ve got a really great sponsor; she’s got 35 years of sobriety.  She’s taking through this book called “the steps we took.”  She also comes in on Sundays and she’s taking everyone through the Big Book.  April 13th will be my big first year of Sobriety.

Hope to hear from you guys soon.

Miss Linda

“ONce a human being has arrived on this Earth, communication is the largest single factor in determining what happens to him in the world.” – Virginia Satir

This is a quote that I will remember and use for the rest of my life.  It’s encouraging, inspiring, and yet it is also extremely daunting.  My greatest skill is communication , so that is why it is encouraging, but I am also careless with my words l, or use them as weapons to wound and hurt.  Th hear this quote and to think upon it, that my skill or lack thereof and the role that this will play in my life makes me realize that I have a lot of improving to do.  It has made me decide to devote my full effort to this class (Public Speaking)  so that I can get everything possible out of it to maximize my potential.

One of the things that struck me about this chapter was the part where it said that communication is irreversible.  I like the quote: “One seldom regrets unspoken words.”  Like I said earlier, I have the gift of gab, but I often speak  without thinking about the impact my words will have.  This is a great problem for me because I am at the crossroads of my life, in the next couple of years and my actions, words, behavior during them will determine what happens with the rest of my life.  My biggest challenge over the last couple of years has been slowing myself down.  When somebody asks what is going on with me I tell them “slow motion.”  This is a reminder to myself to slow down and think before I act, or speak.  I used to operate under the misconception that I had to be moving fast at all times or I would gt bored or not get to my destination.  Now I understand that “slow motion is better than no motion, and no motion is better than moving backwards.”  I fully believe that when I master this in my speech than I will have mattered it in all aspects of my life.

I also was a big fan of the book “Communication Skills for your life.”  The part where it said that every time you talk with someone you either enlarge or diminish that person hit hard.  I am playing chess with my life right now, those reminders serve to drive somehow everything I do and say matters.  In addition I do not wish to be the kind of person who when others finish a conversation with me they do not want to have another.  The last two things I will speak about here are the topics of “Not taking things so personally,” and “listening without verbal interruption.”  those are two things that I find myself doing with frustrating regularity.  When I take things personally, I usually respond with person ao attacks and as you can imagine I engage in a lot of verbal sparing.  As for interrupting ever since I read about the twelve second rule (wait 12 seconds before you answer someone.) I have paid more attention to that.  I find that I interrupt way too much.  Largely because I find that either what I have to say is more important or i just don’t want to hear something I already know.  Both of these reasons are rude and arrogant.and unacceptable.

As I am,

Prince

What’s poppin’?

I’m tired of wondering if everyone that I care about out there is okay, or strung out, or overdosed.

My man just got shot a couple of months ago.  Another is fighting a body (murder.)

I am tired of hearing bad news from people.

As I am,

Prince

Hi everyone. One of my names is Poley and my biggest challenge this week is being around people. As it turns out I fucking hate people in general. I don’t mind some people but even those people I prefer small doses. At the shelter one must be around people often especially at night. Don’t get me wrong that’s rough but pretty much anywhere but jail one has the chance to get away. Here I absolutely do not. Sometimes like lately it has really ground my gears.

In happier news I’ve started the cleaning crew. 50 cents and hour but better than nothing people have not been sending money from the outs. Gotta love family right? That’s all this time.JU

 

Blog!

Greetings fellow organics. One of my names is M.I.A. and one of my biggest challenges this week is finally getting used to the new routine. For the last couple week it has been not being in the swing of things. Yet now that I’m here I have all the usual stuff to deal with. The honeymoon is over. Hahaha!

I’m still upset I don’t have as much reading time. I haven’t really decided if that’s a good thing or bad. I spend any free time I have between classes either eating or sleeping, and sadly I watch T.V. at the end of the day. Oh and I go to be around 2100-2200 everyday.

One new development is that I have started talking to one of the psychologists. Speaking to her is not part of my program. I like talking to people who are doctors of things esp. fields pertaining to the mind and behavior. The pretense is informal but she is studying me but I’m the one who started the study. The transference will be very interesting.

I’ve also started to fight my writer’s block. I just don’t think for some reason, that if I’m not on the street then I don’t have the right material to work with. Or rather to write about. Yes I know what your about to say. Write about being locked up. Thing is; that’s not my style. It’s hard to explain. What I write about is personal stuff but I just don’t want to think about being here anymore than necessary. Then again I might change my mind, who knows.

That’s enough ranting out of me though. Ladies and scoundrels until next week.

Yours Truly,

M.I.A. (Mustafa Poley Whispers)

There are things I thought I knew, and it turns out that my ideas and knowledge are that of a sheltered little boy.  Yeah, I know, I wouldn’t have classified myself as sheltered either, but there is so much out there beyond me and the little I know.  Right now, my head is a mess.  I am battling the pain and horror of learning that childhood beliefs in the world and myself are false.  I am evolving, becoming so much smarter and stronger, but it is not easy.  I do not wish/want to return to the ignorance and naivety that defined me but I do recognize how ignorance is bliss.  I have had to learn some very painful truth about my abilities or lack of them in the last month or so.  It is all worth it though.  I am becoming the best I can be.  Which is doubly important so that when I come home I will be able to be successful and no, I am not trying to become a better criminal, even though knowledge is power.  Hahaha.

As I am,

Prince

Ya I’m back in dorm six it’s ok I guess except for 1 ignorant roommate (typical).

I don’t really know who’s in medium right now cause so many new people have gone up there since I left.

Ya I’m glad me and her are ok she thinks I am nicer too haha.

I am not waiting to go to the farm cause I want to I am on the list to go they just haven’t sent me.

Na I am not doing much right now just working in the laundry I have been lazy I know I have been bad.

I will get a blog out to you people soon ok?

Juice

Waiting to get transferred for three months now; trying to get closer to home, practically been begging to get closer to see my ailing parents.  Mom is 65 and Dad is 80 and I haven’t seen them for almost a year due to their health.  Why do we have to go through such ignorance?  One of my parents could die and I would never get the chance to talk to them again, all cause I had to wait on a stupid list.  I say I should be put on the top and taken care of for medical reasons, but no, they would have to die for them to do anything.

What kind of people are they?

Juice.

Dear viewers:

Many apologies from those of us responsible for receiving and posting the words of our prisoners here on the P.P. blog.  Suffice it to say – it has been a challenging year for many of us on the outside.  Due to unexpected changes in workspace and personel, many letters sent to us months ago, are only being posted now.

Thank you for your patience, and thank you for your support, not of us, the free and fumbling, but of our prisoners.

Pax,

The Editors of the Political Prisoner Blog

As of this writing, 1% of the United States population is incarcerated, and 25% of the world’s prisoners are being held in U.S. jails.

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Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

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