You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘emotions’ tag.

With constant rhythmatic voices always playing tricks on my subconscious, not to leave out the cell of what is to be called my room and board for another fourteen months. I sit idle, sometimes, and ask myself questions like: what will I do with myself tomorrow? Is all this really behind me? What did I take and keep with me so far and will continue to do when the time comes for me to go? I’ve participated in multiple programs and classes. But, for me, as one who is very musically inclined, I concur to myself “the 12-Bar Blues Project” was the one thing that sticks to my soul the most.

“The 12-Bar Blues Project” is one that lets the incarcerated inmates, who are really into music of any kind (unlike the name of it, anyways) a chance to show, give and release how they feel emotionally at the present time, or in the past through playing music, whether it’s writing songs, playing guitar or bss in one, or singing one as well. It’s also a blast to hear and learn other people’s styles of playing or ideas. The songs don’t have to be emotional at all, either, but can be comical for a good laugh or right-out-there too.

What did the program mean to me? Well…

The program meant to me, not only an opportunity to see where I stood next to really good musicians, but also, if my music was liked by not just me. Plus the fact that I got to experience the real act of recording a real CD was astonishing, to be part of something positive, some learning and therapeautic on top of FREE was and still is, to me, one of my life’s personally proud moments. For once I was sober and clean, playing my own as well as contributing to other’s music. I can honestly say that didn’t only make me happy, and lose focus on my surroundings, but also my family’s approval and respect. And not just theirs, but the staff at MCC too, noticed the changes I’ve made since I first started my bid. And the full come-around I’ve done.

For me to finally be able to say I wrote a song without being drunk or high, or for that matter to remember what I wrote and how I played it was a huge thing for me. I was homeless for three years on and off, with my family always trying to help me out but I took everything for granted and never saw the whole picture, prior to my incarceration. Since then (2008) I’ve come to understand the true meaning of trust and respect. Also that even the smallest thing out of the ordinary every day, every week, every month redundancy is a gift and not to be taken for granted. This program and the people in it and involved behind the inside of it have my most utmost respect and thanks for allowing me to participate in it and for their guidance and corrective criticism and suggestions.

Thank you all.

Special thanks to Grendal and Rage and to #1 (Lyssarian), also to my imperfections that help make me who I am as I yet continue or to change myself for a better person I know I can be.

– Matt Moscillo, AKA “Irish”
MDOC# 82613

Advertisements

Hi. Yesterday me and a friend were talking about our relationship patterns. I know it sounds kind of femmy for guys talking about relationships, but here’s a guy writing about it. We started talking about how Phil Hartman from Saturday Night Live got killed by his wife, but no one called it anything. Then he brought up how Lionel Ritchies wife was kickin’ the shit out of him throughout the eighties.

There’s this myth that women aren’t abusers and this myth that guys don’t have feelings or that we’re tough or should be tough & don’t get hurt. And this big myth that abuse has to be physical or it doesn’t count. Women are abusers too, and guys just don’t talk about it. ‘Cause it makes us weak. Or it makes us seem weak. I’m not anonymous. I’m Todd Gack and my MDOC# is 04347.

Thanks.

– Todd Gack
MDOC# 04347

It’s Seldom that we go through an hour or a day and not experience feelings of self-consciousness, tension, anger, depression, fear, sadness and envy. It is also common that during the course of a day, we experience pleasant states, that we wish we had more often or would last forever.

It’s very difficult to see what really is when we’re actively filtering all the input. The mind is constantly and compulsively defining… itself and building a negative image… from passing thoughts. We select from the great mix of our experiences, an image here and there, and discredit the rest through some sort of rationalization.

We tend to judge and comment, not from what is true, yet from what we fear or envy, the judging mind has an opinion about everything. It’s full of noise and old learning, it’s a mind imprisoned, addicted, to maintaining an image of its past experiences, not wanting to let go. Because of fear of the unknown.

By,

Kevin Lawler
MDOC# not provided

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 207 other followers

Political Prisoners

Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

In collaboration with the Holistic Recovery Project, the Political Prisoners Blog provides a prisoner's view into what's happening at Maine's correctional facilities.

Only your vigilance on the outside can guarrentee that justice goes on on the inside.

If you'd like to contact one of our inmate bloggers, send us an email.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support.

Advertisements