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I’ve been a little depressed as of late, myself.  You know how guys in jail can get.  I had some guy tell me I should have killed myself after Zina, “She went out gangsta.”

I was thinking, “Yeah, and she left our son and me here.”  as I walked away.  This guy is obviously not the brightest bulb in the box.  Still, it left me angry at Zina again.

Once guy tried to convince me she may still be alive, “You don’t know.  She could be in protective custody.”  I  swear.  I’m surrounded by lawyers and psychologists in here.  Luckily, I”m a little too bright to fall for this shit.

Still… my grieving for Zina is a manic call back.  some days, I’m fine.  Other days it’s a relentless roller coaster.

Just when I had given up on talking to anyone, I had a guy I didn’t recognize call me “Dirty.(my tag name.)”  We started talking and I  asked him if he knew Zina.  He said yes, “She was a beautiful girl.”

When he said that all these images of her, the really good times came flooding back.  That’s when I realized that that’s how I want to remember her.. as beautiful.

I can’t tell you why or how I endure this.  I do believe there’s a reason I’m still alive.  I don’t know why, but I plan on finding out.

I’d enjoy mail from anyone.  My address is:

Michael McQuade / Somerset County Jail / 132 East Madison Road / Madison, Maine 04950.

Tell everyone that I said “hi!”

God bless,

Dirty

Dirty

 

Hey, Circle.

How are you?  I got your letter this afternoon.  I was glad I could call you guys for hell, you really are the only friends I have had.

I know what you guys are saying about Dark Star, but I doubt I will ever get back with Lori even though I wish that I could but Hell…

I don’t know what DHS has to say about the kids, but you can bet I will see my kids, for I will fight until I die.  I would let them keep putting me back here just to see my kids.

I guess you could say after I get out I will be okay, even if I don’t come back to Maine, for I will always land on my feet for, Hell, God has not let me down yet.

I would say that even if my mom said I could stay there, Cherokee shouldn’t matter for he is eighteen now so who knows.  But I guess you could say I will do something.

I do get out for a walk a few times a week, lifting.  I just have not had the time for that, but I should be getting more time now I am done with DEFY for next monday is the final test for my class but I also been putting a lot of time in the Church stuff as you always see.

I guess you could say I am going to close for now, but I will write you guys more.  Soon I need to find some more stamps for I used the money my mom put on my account on the phone.

God bless,

Joel Dudley

joel

Robin,

As far as my family goes, I don’t know what I might had done, but I guess they are all mad at me or something. Yeah, they didn’t send me a card for Mother’s day and I haven’t gotten a letter from my mom or my son.

I had a girlfriend in here since November, but she left in May to go to rehab. She wrote to me, but I still miss her. I am making a blanket with her name on it. I get to have a blanket, shower bag, make up bag wash clothe and a pair of slippers. I think we an also have three pairs of homemade socks also. My son is with my mom and he has been.

I guess you could say I have an attitude like a dove. I wish that I could have a dove again. You said there is a pic on facebook of me with purple hair. Can you look up stuff like pics and stuff? If you can my pics of my doves are on there.

Well, talk to you later.

Lawless.

arline-lawless-7

Hey Circle,

Sorry it has been a while since I have written.  I am good.  I guess you could say I am happy.  Just my family has pretty much given up on me.  I haven’t been able to talk to my son since God knows when.

I have been crocheting with thread, grappling pictures and stuff.  I love birds.  I have seen a fat little bird going to the dentist.  A red hawk, some crows and of course, seagulls.

If I could be a bird I would be a dove like “Pietrie,” my dove that my little man found in a mud puddle.

Well, write back.

Lawless

arline-lawless-3

Circle:

How’s it going? I guess you could say I am doing good, but fuck, still have not heard from my mother, so to put it: no, I really don’t hear from my family anymore.

I guess you could say I am working on getting my e-mail here, so yes, I hope to get that next week, but fuck, I still need money just to use it (LOL.)

I guess you could say right now I could careless about playing with fire when it comes to writing D.S. For yes, I don’t hear from Lori, but I don’t call right now, I don’t even write her.

So hey, just in case they let me have my email, what is your addy so I can put it on-line for it might work better.

I would say any pictures you want to send me would be okay, for I like them all (LOL.) I don’t see much of my life on the outs.

I am getting a new pair of glasses soon, as I get more money I will need to get a picture for you guys for you know just how it is. Sorry it’s been forever since I wrote for as you see I write the printer here has been down so I couldn’t get labels and you can’t send out mail if you don’t have them. I’m headed out to see if they fixed it tomorrow for I don’t have classes again ’til Monday. Fuck, it has been a long week (LOL.)

I am going to head to bed now, but I will always keep praying for you guys.

God bless,

Father Dudley

father.dudley

What’s really good?

About relationships, sometime I feel as though if it ain’t rough, it ain’t right, and that’s just bad thinking. But nobody ever said I make great choices – hahaha. One thing I have learned from being in here is that a good woman makes all the difference. There are most definitely levels to this issue and a woman either builds you up or tears you down. Behind, besides, in front of every great man is a good woman. Just like the Bible and the Quran say. A woman completes and enhances a man.

Alright, I know this is short, but I’ve gotta end this so it goes out tomorrow.

As I am,

Prince

prince

Dear Circle:

For a while I wasn’t doing too good.  I’ve had four relapses.  Broke out twice in handcuffs.  Now, I’m out on bail and have to go to the police station every night to get tested.  Next week I have a screening for an I.O.P. at the hospital.  I’m excited.

I finally got rid of Micky.  He’d come to me, then he’d go back to Michelle.  One time when he was here when he left I was in bed and he shit in my shower!  What a pig.

I have a job interview at a hotel.  The job market sucks up here in central maine.

Miss Linda

misslinda

Hey, Circle, what’s poppin’?

Right now, I only have 1 ½ classes and those will be done at the beginning of August. I finished Psychology with a B; I’m not particularly proud or happy about that. I dropped the ball there a little bit. I didn’t study for the test as much as I should have and rushed through the when I took them. It’s kinda disappointing because I want to major in Psy. But, lesson learned. One of my other teachers (for my business class) is from the Gardiner area. He knows me or at least of me. That was kinda awkward at first. I wonder, will I ever be able to meet somebody who knew me or knows me from my past and not feel that rush of shame? Anyways the awkwardness was all on my part and once I got past that, everything has been cool.

I’ve been getting a lot of winter sun and I love it. The Winter has had great weather (at least the first part.) What’s the best thing y’all have done outdoors so far? I haven’t played much this season; most of my games have been scheduled for the same time that I have class, but that’s okay. I’ll take the education over a couple of hours of fun any day. I recently lost my job because of scheduling conflicts between work and school. That kinda sucks because I definitely could use the money, but again, I’m putting school over everything else.

So I don’t know what’s up with Mariah. I’m a sucka for love. I know Allah has plans for me so I”m just gall back and see what’s really good.

Alright. I’m gonna hope that all is well with you and yours.

As I am,

Prince

prince

I am the invincible dragon,

who is plated with gold sheets,

and red rubies,

and a breath of fiery hearts.

I feel my challenges in full force and with empty mind.

I must be falling in love with every moment of my life.

Why?

Because I am positive of it.

Hello to the world outside the gates!

I wanted to give a big thank you to everyone and anyone who supports a prisoner, and I mean, in any way, from postcards to prayers.  If it wasn’t for all of you and your support, I think a great deal of us would just give up, expire.

Every letter that we get in here is like Christmas, I swear to you.

Christmas.

And I know that you’ve been meaning to write that long letter, but you don’t have to.  I mean, I’d love the long letter, but who knows when that will get done?  It’s always cool to get a postcard, or any mail.

Thanks to everyone who’s supported and supporting me, especially, my girl, Catia.  Thank you, love.

And thank you, everyone!

Pax,

Fuzion

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Political Prisoners

Welcome to the blog from inmates of Maine's jails and prisons.

In collaboration with the Holistic Recovery Project, the Political Prisoners Blog provides a prisoner's view into what's happening at Maine's correctional facilities.

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